claudesfandomcom-20200214-history
Pass that chronic what?
What better way to start off the summer than by smoking what my friend Eric Farley refers to as "fruit loop" weed. It was a rather common thing to be at a close Claude's friends house named Superman. With events ranging from drunkin swimming all the way up to snack closet raids this gathering place was a stoner's dream land. Most of us Claudes prefered to spend the majority of our time there high or drunk out of our minds, recreational reasons for some, self medicating for others. No one can rob us of the amount of fun we had during the glory summers in the last wee years of our teens. What seemed to start off has just an innocent Claude experimenting with altered states of consciousness turned into quite the habitual addiction for one individual. The Rise of Superman Superman was never one to show up with alcohol or phat drug lewt in his hands. Out of the hundreds of times spent with HIM there was never a time where he showed any interest in drugs and the like. In fact, to see HIM under the influence of alcohol was quite the treat for many Claudes, so when Superman showed an interest in Mary Jane, it came to shock most of his audience. Most claudes phase in and out of drug addictions whether its the in the form of excessive alcohol abuse or daily chronic splurging or whatever they can get their hands on. (See 4h0Mip..) Superman took this to an entire new extreme where as if he somehow became a Claude/Human version of Futurama's Bender, but put 'Sticky icky' in place of beer. Rumors have it that Superman still smokes to this very day, many claudes speculate the source of income required to fund such an appetite. Although there are rumors that one night Superman dug so deep that he eventually hit China soil and thus started the Great Superman Tunnel Tour of 2009. Eventually tourists were not making it to the other side. When asked about the mass amount of missing people attending his tour, Superman informed the California media digging that deep lead to quite a few discoveries along the way. One being the T-Rexbeibereater, this large beast hibernates for centuries only returning in the year 2045 as God's way of stopping an individual named Justin Beiber from taking over the world. Nostradamus predicted Justin Beiber will be president for 2 terms starting in the late 2030s and followed by his command that the only hair cut men and women alike are allowed to have is "Beiber Bangs." Superman unleashed the beast before Beiber's true climactic reign may have just caused the downfall of humanity, and all good music to follow. As punishment, Superman was sentenced to fill in this hole and took responsibility for the assassination of Justin Beiber. It took Superman only half a day to fill in this hole due to his ability to work 24 hours a day thanks to a new strain of Eric Farley's "Rambo" weed. Superman then went on to assassinate Justin Beiber succsesfully by learning the 'power riff' from Led Zeppelin's Achilles last stand. Justin Beiber's death lead to many young girls vaginas being dried out for centuries. Superman became good friends with his dino pal and allows the FOINE citizens of California to ride him around tower pond for a small fee of 1 oz of the 'finest sticky'.